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casacasey's LiveJournal:
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| Thursday, July 24th, 2008 | | 1:13 am |
Thought of the day...
Ok. You know the cheerleader from Heroes? If she heals from anything that happens to her, would she be a virgin every time? | | Monday, June 16th, 2008 | | 10:09 pm |
Drifting...
Ever feel like you're just drifting through life? Of course you have, you're my friends, a bunch of directionless misfits. No offense. I don't know what I'm doing. Not that I ever have, but especially now. Bouncing from crap job to crap job, no marketable skills. I need to do something to change all of this. I need to find some way to give my life some meaning. I mean, this can't be all there is, can it? I'm approaching a decision about it, possibly the biggest decision I've ever made in my life. If and when I make a choice either way, those of you effected will be informed. | | Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007 | | 1:11 pm |
For the first five people that reply to me and re-post this challenge, I will send you something. It might be something I've made, or something cool from my hidden stash, it might be a mix CD - or a rubber duck, a book I think you will enjoy, or something else that is awesome. The gift will be tailored specifically to each person. Whatever it is, I promise that I will get it to you in 365 days or less. The only thing you need to do in order to participate is to be one of the first five to reply to this, AND post this very same thing on YOUR live journal - cause it's fun to give people prezzies! I'm all for frequent random presents. | | Wednesday, August 8th, 2007 | | 12:33 am |
| | Friday, July 27th, 2007 | | 10:59 pm |
| | Tuesday, July 17th, 2007 | | 4:19 am |
P.S.
If this is for you, you know who you are. If not, don't bother trying to make sense of it. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I won't be bothering you anymore after Monday night. | | 4:14 am |
| | Saturday, May 5th, 2007 | | 12:38 am |
I HATE MY JOB
It's official. Chanello's is slowly devouring my soul. I don't get to see my friends, because I'm always working when they're free. I don't get to see Ashes nearly as much as I want, because she works days. I don't get paid enough to deal with the drunks and stoners that call this shit-hole at 12:30 in the fucking morning. I can't wait to find another job, so I can quit this fucking place. Current Mood: disgruntled | | Wednesday, July 19th, 2006 | | 1:16 pm |
This is really starting to piss me off.
So, for the last couple of nights, I have been having dreams about the one person in the world who has actually managed to make me feel hate. And not good dreams, either, like where I'm telling her off or handing her over to the police for being a whore. No such luck. These are dreams where I'm back together with her. WHAT THE FUCK? I hate this woman with every fiber of my being, but my subconscious decides to go "Hey, wouldn't it be nice?" NO! TRAITOR! Why am I having these dreams? If anybody has any insight, I would love to hear it. Unless that insight is "You want to be back with her," cause I really, really, REALLY don't. On a related note, I think I'm going crazy. I really do. I'm not at the point yet where I can't hide it, but it's only a matter of time. I feel really anxious when I'm alone in my car, I hear things at night that aren't there, shit like that. I'm starting to scare myself. | | Tuesday, July 18th, 2006 | | 3:04 am |
Ugh
So, I'm sitting here trying to write a song, and I'm in the grip of a massive case of writer's block. Just thought I'd let ya'll know. Also, my throat hurts. That is all. | | Monday, June 26th, 2006 | | 2:40 am |
Shitty end to a shitty day...
So, this day definitely made my list of top five shittyest (is that a word?) days ever. Not only did I pull a 15 hour shift at work, but it turns out that I have absolutely ZERO lucks with cars. Right at the end of my shift, my car's clutch died. Normally, I wouldn't care so much, but I just had a new clutch put in a month ago. If the mechanic tries to blame it on me, I'm gonna flog him, because there is no way it's humanly possible to kill a clutch in one month. And if he tries to charge me for fixing it this time, I'm gonna have to kill him. If I had any kind of credit, I'd get a new car, but I don't, so my only option is to keep pouring money into that shit-heap on wheels. If my car was a horse, I'd have shot it a long time ago. Also, two of my books, both my rings, my wristband, and my $65 watch are still at Chanello's. If they're not there tomorrow, somebody's getting cut. I'm done rambling now, so if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go drink till I'm in a better mood. I hope I have enough beer. | | Monday, May 22nd, 2006 | | 4:23 am |
I had an epiphany recently. It was after I had a talk with she who shall remain nameless. I realized that she just wasn't worth it. She wasn't worth all of the pain I put myself through thinking about what I could've done differently, about what might have been. For a long time, I wondered what I had done wrong, and thought that I wasn't good enough for her. I finally figured out that it was the other way around. She's not good enough for me. She was damn lucky to have me, and she fucked it up. Honestly, us breaking up was the best thing that ever happened to me. If we were still together, I wouldn't be starting a band right now, I wouldn't have all the wonderful friends that I have, and I would be complacent with my life, not trying to make anything for myself. So, all in all, I guess I'm saying disregard my last post. I love you all, and if you need me, I'll be there in a heartbeat. Until next time, same blog time, same blog channel. | | Tuesday, May 16th, 2006 | | 1:59 pm |
An announcement...
I want everybody to forget the Casey that they knew, because that man is dead. My new philosophy for my life is: I don't care. That's the only way to not get hurt. If you're upset or have a problem, don't come to me, because I don't care. If you need help, don't come to me, because I don't care. If I disappointed any of you, I honestly don't care. | | 12:09 pm |
| | Friday, May 12th, 2006 | | 3:31 am |
| | Thursday, May 11th, 2006 | | 2:29 am |
I'm somewhat excited.
So, things are actually going pretty decently for me. I got my second tattoo yesterday, and it looks awesome. Also, I spent the afternoon at my bass player Dave's house writing music. We got a pretty solid foudation for a song hammered out from a little, eight measure intro that I thought up the other day. I'm really jazzed about this band thing, because it looks like it might actually happen. Now all I need to do is find a girlfriend, and things would be perfect. Current Mood:  giddy | | Tuesday, April 25th, 2006 | | 4:23 am |
Well, that felt good...
So, I was in my living room, sharpening one of my knives, and guess what? My hand was coming down towards myself, and my thumb catches on the tip of the knife. I cut the SHIT out of my thumb. I left a gash about 3/4 of an inch long, and it hurts like a mother-fucker. Needless to say, I swore a blue streak, as can be expected. This happened about 30 minutes ago, and it's still bleeding a little. If it doesn't stop soon, I think I'm gonna have to get stitches. That'll probably suck more than the actual cut, considering my slight "issue" with needles. Hopefully, it'll take care of itself. I'm gonna sign off now. Til next time, same blog time, same blog channel. Oh, and FYI, I typed this with just my left hand. Later. Current Mood:  worried | | Sunday, April 16th, 2006 | | 7:20 pm |
I don't usually attempt poetry, but...
I gonna give it a shot. The poetry will be in parentheses (sp?) because I have no idea how to put this in italics. Hopefully it won't suck too bad. (Confusion is scrambling my thoughts I don't know what's going on in this head anymore I can't still these butterflies I can't stop the shakes in my hands i can't stop the voices telling me i'm a failure telling me i'll never go anywhere telling me that i deserve to be alone telling me that i don't deserve love WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BE? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? why won't they answer me?) | | Tuesday, April 4th, 2006 | | 8:29 am |
Two words: Fucking Epic
Hi everybody. For once I'm posting a non-depressed entry. So anyway, last night I went to Drum Circle, then went to Casa's after. I hung out with Minion, Katy and her husband, and a few other people. We played a really cool card game called "Three Dragon Ante." Mucho fun. After that, a few of us wanted to go play poker. There were supposed to be four of us, but one guy remembered that he had stuff to do in the morning, so he dropped out. So I followed Katy and Jeremy to their house to go play. Minion was supposed to come too, but he never showed. So Jeremy and I ended up playing heads-up (two person) Texas Hold-em. For about four hours. Every time one of us went all-in to try to end it, we ended up splitting the pot. So, at about 7 in the morning, he finally won. I can honestly say that that was the first time that I have EVER celebrated losing $20. We just wanted it to end, but the Hold-em gods were having nine of it. Anyhoo, I'm gonna go grab a nap. Until next time, same blob time, same blog channel. Current Mood:  tired | | Monday, March 27th, 2006 | | 3:24 am |
I've come to a conclusion...
God is dead. And to be honest, I don't think I'm gonna miss him. Why should I, when all he's done is fuck with me for my entire life? Fuck him! He's never cared about me. Why doesn't anything ever go the way I want it to? Am I not a good person? Do I not deserve to be happy like everybody else? I don't even remember what it's like to be happy. I put on a face in front of my friends, but nothing makes me happy anymore. Acting doesn't do it, music doesn't do it, nothing. It's like I can feel my soul dieing inside of me. I just want it all to go away. I just... I don't know. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I can't keep living like this. I need help. Somebody please help me. Current Mood: depressed |
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